he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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