There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
