Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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