First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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