can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize