highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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