Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
