I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Houston, we have a squirter
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
