dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
