Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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