Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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