get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
