when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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