Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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