4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
