the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Barsexuality is the new black.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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