she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
