her vagine was all disorganized.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
