I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
