Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
