two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
