come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
