You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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