Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
