the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
