how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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