Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Dick very happy bro
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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