I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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