god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
