i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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