what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
