my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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