A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
too bad you live with your parents still
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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