You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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