As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
