i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dignity is for republicans.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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