Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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