My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
So many bounce houses so little time
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
