What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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