I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
