Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
