Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
