I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
