If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
