I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
