My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
