We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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