2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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