this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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