whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
