i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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