Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize