69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
