i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
