We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
