i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
